Me student, you teacher

Vacation needs to happen soon. Sooooooner than that even. I need to escape. It is in my nature to flee the scene when the amount of stress and the amount of things that I cannot change becomes too great. When it comes to the fight or flight response, I tend to side with the "get the fuck out" mentality. That's why I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do any of this in the first place. I knew that I would be okay for a few months but right around this time, something would snag and I would feel like I don't belong. Or something would happen to make it so my love for this place is now less than my amount of frustration with this place. Thank God for guards, if not for them my weekend would have been a waste.


I'm not going to go into a lot of what happened this weekend. I already got a talking to about it and have made my descisions on several levels. No, I'm not going home. I will stick it out. I just need to get away for a while. Luckily my school will be giving me a break for a decent long time so no worries there. I think I've almost decided to go to Beijing with a group of teachers. I sort of also want to go to Hainan and if I can brave the travel by myself I might hop and skip over there and bum around for a few days. Can't be that hard, can it? I don't want to go to Vietnam and Cambodia and Malaysia. Who would? Yeah it's beautiful but I have a hard time not thinking about the history of those countries and what took place there.

I'm not really friends with my teachers. Okay, I lie, there are a few that I am friends with like Molly and Benny and Heidi. But the rest of them just sort of treat me with a mild indifference. I don't blame them actually, I would sort of be the same way. Here's this pretty girl waltzing into our school, getting special treatment and being favored by all of the students. I would feel jealousy and anger too. Plus there are some teachers who I'm sure I've accidentally burned some bridges with, but oh well. Last night Xiao Dong asked if I was friends with this one teacher and I sort of lied and said I was but I wonder if he could tell from my face that I wasn't really telling the truth. We're not friends if we're using the term friends as I know it. We're merely good aquaintances. A friend in my opinion is someone whom I'll keep in contact with even after I leave, and there are few teachers here that I feel I will still talk to after I come home. Sad thing, that.

So these people want me to perform on New Year's eve. Don't ask me how I got myself into this I don't even know. It was one of those moments where there was a time lapse or something. Or maybe I wasn't paying attention. They asked me to sing and for some god awful reason I agreed. Well they're making this whole thing way more difficult than it needs to be and I'm just ready to tell them, oh sorry I have something else to do that night, peace out. What are they going to do, fire me? Okay fine, I go back to America and pass out in an Olive Garden. No problem. And as we know, you can't really get removed from this program ::cough cough:: Chinese prostitutes. ::cough cough:: good job Willie D.

I went to visit Ian's house on Saturday. I almost didn't and I'm glad that I decided to. We mainly sat around in the living room and watched his niece and nephew run around and play. They speak Hakkanese at his house which is a messed up version of Chinese. Poor Ian was translating on overdrive, but he did a really good job. He's basically fluent in English, Mandarin, Cantonese, and Hakkanese and probably some other languages. It's crazy. I love meeting the language enthusiasts over here because they always know like 8 different languages or dialects. So impressive. I love hearing him speak Chinese too because he always speaks English with me, it's such a nice change.

Sunday night I decided to do a little grocery shopping and then go and visit my friend the guard. He always tells me he's so bored all the time, so I like to entertain him as best I can. It's weird he's the only one I can understand among all of them. He knows this too and makes sure to rub it in to the other guards. "She only understands me!" haha What's even weirder is he has, what I call, a Chinese speech impediment. Instead of shi he says si and instead of zai he says zhai and other things that are weird. His friends are always like "NO, you spelled it wrong." He is very aware that Matt is coming to visit also and wants to meet him. He has been practicing saying "Massew Bohlinzher". We've been picking on each other also. I showed him a photo of me and matt (the one aunt shelley sent) and he was like "you look so fat here, now you're much thinner." blahhhh. It's true but it's terrible haha. He was also picking on me for my lack in cooking skills. He said "We both cannot cook and therefore we are both stupid." Funny little man....
I snagged a photo of him not working. Fun times. Figure I could put a face to one of the people I've been talking about.

One of my teachers approached me this morning and asked if I wanted to teach 30 police officers English every Monday evening. Seriously? People, I am not here entirely at your disposal to teach English to all of China. I was sent on a specific mission to teach your kids. That's all that should be expected of me. If I don't want to do something I should get a look of...well....you should because that's the reason you were put on this earth. That's like asking me why I'm not currently pregnant.....cuz it's why you're here? Blahhhhhhh China. I'm giving the job to Gavin. I don't WANT anymore jobs unless they involve helping my kids in some way, that's it. Or personal tutoring. I can't do the huge classroom thing. Doesn't work. And there's no WAY I want to just be oggled by a bunch of middle-aged Chinese dudes....I get that enough on a daily basis as it is, thank you!


Until next time. Peace out.

Proving points and mistranslations

Last night after wandering around looking at clothes I didn't want to spend money on I found myself walking through the school gate for the second time. Whenever I pass the guards I always shout out something at them, usually in English. The two evening guards are my buddies. While the morning guards usually give me a nod or a smile or some simple hello, the night guards will shout something at me in Chinese. This time I decided to stop and ask them what they were doing (which was playing on their cell phones.) One of them asked me in Chinese if I wanted to chat for a little while. I had nothing better to do so, and figured it couldn't hurt to practice my Chinese. So we chatted. First about simple things, basically the same questions I get at English corner only in English not Chinese. We talked about my state and the weather, how long I'll be in China, we talked about snow also. He is from Henan which is near the middle of China but north enough that they get snow in the winter. He said that they normal got a few inches (he held his hand not far from the ground to emphasize this) to which I responded by raising my hand to the level of my knee to show how much snow Michigan gets on average. His eyes went wide. I found out his name was Dong jian dong and that his friends and the other guards call him Xiao dong which is a term used for when someone is younger (the first part of my name in Chinese means something different) so I proceeded to ask how old he was. Turns out, he's 22! A year younger than me. Ridiculous. The job of a guard just implies experience and patience and the ability to sit still for long periods of time, something that someone my age shouldn't be able to do. Then again come to think about it, I often do see the two night guards running around, making paper airplanes, or playing on their cell phones. Makes a little more sense now.

We continued the hilarity of asking and answering questions. I got the obvious "boyfriend question" but this time with a little more backing to it. He asked, if I didn't have a boyfriend, who were all the boys who I always see at the gate. I have a lot of guy friends, many of whom have shown up to meet me at the gate, this ranges from Brendon, to Ryan to Gavin to Ian to Randy. And I'm sure others will show up as the year progresses. I explained this to him to hopefully quell any rumors circling the guard houses that I'm dating half of China.

My Chinese is getting progressively better, but this is something that I only notice when I talk to people who have very little to NO grasp of English. It comes out from the recesses of my brain. I can also read and write better than I can speak (like many of my kids) so if I couldn't understand him he would write things down, which became a little frustrating because he was writing things that I COULD understand such as, "what will you do when you return to America?" What I liked about talking to him is that he spoke slowly and somehow figured out which words I knew and how to use them to explain things, leaving the difficult Chinese alone. When any of the other guards joined the conversation they would confuse me every time. Things that he said that there was no transtlation for or I just pointedly did not understand I would write down to either translate later or ask students what it meant. When I told him this he raised his eyebrows. I told him, that's their job, it's what they help me with. I could probably have a drink with this guy (which is what we ended the night talking about because a lot of his guard buddies were leaving to go get drinks). I found out that he lives on the 5th floor in my building. One of the last things he said to me in Chinese was that when I go back home they will miss me. "Ni hui lai Meiguo shenme shihou, women hui xiang ni." Which is probably incorrect but it's the jist. I'm glad to know that if I'm ever bored late at night at my school I have friends not far away.

I just learned that the English plays that the kids are doing Xmas eve will coincide with the Christmas party time. I don't care. I will just go later. I am going to watch those plays. They are going to be the cutest things in the entire world and it will be my favorite Christmas present.

Lemon Starburst Candy

So I took some Chinese Prozac and am feeling better today. The last post was angsty and angry and grumbly and I'm probably going to end up deleting it. This one will be part of the remedy.

First I'm going to start with some quotes I've been collecting over the past few weeks from my kids or from things that I've been hearing at English corner. I hate to say that some of them are in context and while they were funny at the time, you may not find them funny so I will try to explain. (plus I, of course, find everything funny, so ya know...)

{In response to when I asked a kid in the back of one of my 9th grade classes what my name was} "Pretty girl?"
Me: My name is not pretty girl...
Him: Pretty girl should be enough...

{One of my Oral test questions is 'what job do you want and why' and this is what I got in response}
"I want to be a teacher."
"Why?"
"Because I want to touch the students."

{This was from a 7th grader who shouldn't even know what this means}
"I'm not gay!!"
.....and 2 minutes later
"I'm amazing!"

{At English corner I asked the kids, 'what will you do during Spring Festival?" and one replied...}
"Chasing Girls!"

{When I saw one of my kids at a restaurant and asked 'what are you doing?'}
"I am doing my workhome!"

---

Yesterday after coming home from Chinese class I was surprised to see more than half of my school on the playgrounds attending basketball competitions organized by grade and girls and boys. I wandered around from court to court to watch during most of it. As I passed the area that faces the school, there were students from junior 3 standing on the different floors watching their classmates. I got a good loud cheer from them when I walked by. Two seconds later I heard my name being called from the 4th floor and saw a smaller group of 7th graders waving and laughing. Nothing makes you feel more the celebrity than being here.

Towards the end of the competitions I was approached by the boy who had a microphone and was wandering from court to court reporting schools. The person who spoke into the mike could be heard all through the school, so he decided that he wanted to interview me about basketball. It was a very brief conversation about how "yes I like basketball, but I cannot play" "well if you like it, surely you must be able to play it!" And of course before I knew it he was shouting into the mike that the foreign teacher was going to attempt this, with me of course PLEADING with him and protesting that I cannot play basketball, whatsoever. We head over to the girl's court, followed by almost all of the 9th graders and some other meandering students. They let me shoot 13 baskets and I got all of 2 but they were still heavily impressed that I was even trying. They were ecstatic the entire time. I on the other hand was shaking haha. But at least I didn't fail completely. Their gym coach managed to snap a few photos that I'm sure I will regret later.

After all was said and done I cornered the boy with the microphone and told him that he was in SO much trouble. He asked why and gave me the mike. I proceeded to tell the whole school "I was embarrassed and it's your fault, so in my class I will be making you answer every single question all year." He was so worried, until I told him I wasn't serious. He's still in trouble though as far as I'm concerned. But I'll admit, it was fun. Brought me back to when we lived at the Herrod house and had the basketball net on the garage.

Absent

The reason that I have not been writing as of late is because this is an open journal. It's not that things have not been happening, they have, it's just in my opinion nothing worth noting down. Right now I am giving tests to me kids, not because I want to, but because I have to. I am not happy about this because it means that while we are testing they are not able to have a Christmas lesson, which I know is what they wanted from me, and I cannot deliver. My hands are tied. So I am angry about that.

Another reason is that people read this journal or have the ability to read it. I am not going to be a self-absorbed ass and write things on here, knowing full well that people will be able to read it and will want to read it and make a big deal out of things. Oh no. I'm just sick. Sick and tired of being different. I fit in here in a weird way. Why? Because I'm more Chinese minded than I am American minded. There. That's it. I'm more accepting, I'm more patient, I'm more open-minded and I'm more tolerant than nearly 80% of this group. I am also a person who is including and caring, until you cross me. Do not cross me.

I cannot get into the Christmas spirit because there really isn't any Christmas spirit to be had. There's no Christianity over here, no Jesus, none of that. And I don't have anyone here that I feel the need to buy things for. There are people that I wish I knew better so that I could buy them gifts, but I don't know them, and it's hard to buy gifts for people you don't know. I have a hard enough time as it is buying presents for my own family on Christmas much less for people I've known for maybe 3 months.

I need to find a place to travel this vacation. I still don't know where to go and I don't want to go alone and I'm sure that I sound like the traveling partner that no one would want right now and I don't care. I'll figure it out and I'll get lost, it'll be fine.

I'm sorry, this is an angry post. But it's actually a lot more watered down than it started out being. Better posts will be coming with the holidays. My kids are going to be putting on English plays and there will hopefully non-sucky Christmas parties. I'm not depressed, I'm not anything I just needed to vent so there's no need to worry.

Peace

I win.

Because I am awesome and I do. Leave it alone. I win. Shut up.

The competitive spirit of my classes is rubbing off on me.

I have another cold. I don't care. Whatever, I still win.

I love how half the school was like "Fuck it, it's too cold today for fancy uniforms. We're rebelling." Go them.

We played trivia on Friday night. People who never come to anything were there. Justin and Harry almost got raped by the para para girls from Yantian. Meagan passed out and was timely caught by Steven's foot. Good timing.

Had 'Morning Tea' with David from SZU. His mom joined us for like 5 minutes and then promptly returned home. Don't know what all that was about. She was nice though. We went back to his house and watched a movie about great movie about aliens and I learned about what a weird and lovely kid he is.

English Corner: Man I'm gonna stop going. I'm just going to round up the guys that I love like David, Ian, Jimbo, Andy, Rico and a couple others and BA's gonna take his favorite girls and we're all just gonna go hit up the nearest KTV. I'm tired of meeting new people who just want to ask me the same 20 questions or try to manhandle me into teaching them English. ENOUGH!

While waiting for the bus last night I met two new friends, one of whom spoke english well and was sort of attacking me into being his next best English friend and the other who was quieter and spoke less English. When the loud one got my phone number and got on the bus the two of us waited for awhile, not speaking much. Finally after waiting too long I told him that I was getting a cab and he was welcome to come with me because it was just taking too long. Thanks to him he was able to explain to the cab driver how to get to my school and he even paid for my cab ride. What a sweety. I win this week in the giant battle of me VS. china.

"What Month is it guys?" "October!" "No, no it is not..."

I've got chalk dust on the side of my hands. My kids are always pointing this out to me while I wander around the room making sure that Bobby isn't hitting Suzy and meanwhile making sure that Eli's book is open and he's not drooling on his desk for the fifteenth time. Meanwhile the kids that pay attention say "Teacher your hands are very dirty."
They are dirty because instead of wasting time hunting for an eraser, which are generally dish towels that have been soaked in a bucket in a drawer for the past month I use the backs of my hands to erase the board. I have learned that white chalk erases easily and generally is softer on the hands. Pink chalk is waxy and harder to come off and red chalk is neigh impossible. I have a memo that's always starting me in the face in my planner. "Stay away from the red chalk." I've had it stain my hands and my clothes. I used it a lot on Halloween because it would turn my hands red and they would joke and think it was blood. Funny little buggers.

This thought weirded me out the other day - I'm a teacher. I full out teacher. I mean, yes, I only see these kids once a week and I don't have to deal with them on a daily basis like most teachers do, and I don't grade homework or give tests but still; I am up there at the front of their class once a week. When I wander around the room and watch them throw whatever thing that was on top of their desk that was not supposed to be there into the bowels of their desk and pull out their books to show "why yes I was paying attention," I am constantly reminded of being in high school, or junior high, or elementary school for that matter. I was a "drawing kid" as most of you I'm sure are aware or could have guessed. While the teacher was talking I would have my book open and the work was generally finished before some of the others. I would also have another pad of paper open and would be drawing. Most of my "drawing kids" tend to just draw on whatever they have near them, their open workbooks, their desks, themselves. I don't punish these kids, I never have. The only time I reprimanded one was when I caught one older boy in one of my 9th grade classes drawing an elaborate bold faced block letter of the word "Fuck". I complimented him for his artistry and promptly confiscated it.

It's amazing what a small basketball can do to promote rapport with your kids. After class they stole it and we were playing a weird sort of game of catch/keep away. Then they started throwing it to kids in the upper grades. So we were having mixed ages play together. It was cute. I was proud. I like to promote stuff like that. Right now I eat lunch with a 7th grader and an 8th grader. I remember being in junior high and not talking/fearing the older kids. You shouldn't fear the older kids. You should admire them and hope for their guidance and protection. But of course we all knew that the 8th graders were scary and mean so we stayed away from them. I'm sure that's what my baby 7th graders feel too. I like to see them interact when they can.

Another good thing happening (when I'm down I've been writing down the good things and so far they really do outweigh the bad) my kids are starting to talk to me on their own. This only happens rarely (only with Kathrine and a few others who have got up the confidence, mostly the other ones just mob me asking for candy and whatnot.) Yesterday I had this happen in two occurrences. The first was when a little girl named Ling Ling came up to my desk and started talking to me about my Santa hats. I have bought a plethora of Santa hats for a project that I was working on. A project that sort of went awry but here I am with 10 random Santa hats. From there she started talking to me about Christmas and New Years. I was prompting her with simple questions but it's the most I've spoken to her that doesn't involve "GIVE ME SWEETS" all year. I was proud of her. Her English is better than she lets on for a little 7th grader. I talked to her for the whole break period (10 minutes) and then at the bell she ran off waving.

Another hap instance of friendship was brief but whole-hearted. There is another boy in one of my 7th grade classes who has very good English. He always makes little jokes with me and gives me some advice. He's also the one who showed me the class's stock of music videos one day after class. Music fan, no doubt. His name is Jackie and he's a real cute kid, going to definitely break some hearts when he gets past the age of 12. The weird thing is that he always sits in the back. The kids are seated by grades, if you get bad grades you're in the back if you get good grades front. Not how I would do it, but there it is. So I asked him Monday if his English was so good, why is he in the back. He went on to explain that his English is okay but his Chinese is better and his math is terrible. I know the feeling. I asked him what he was best at and he said of course, music. I think by the despcription that I got that he's learning to play the recorder. This is not the cool part. The cool part is that the two days I got tapped on the shoulder while I was walking to lunch. It was him. He's usually really reserved and hangs back. He said hey and we did the simple "how are you and where are you going bit" before he sprinted off in the way of home for lunch. Made me happy. I like the fact that some of them can think of me as more than just their teacher. That's how I would want it to be if I were in America and that's how I want it to be here.


Last thing to report was the event of the last day of the Shenzhen University Sports Festival. David invited me to come watch the closing ceremonies at the stadium (gym). He said there would be "cheer leadering" I had to go. Not only were there girls but boy cheer leaders and boy break dancers as well. Each club had put together their own cheer/pop/hip hop dance. It was fantastic. They danced to several American pop and hip hop songs and at one point I know I heard "Oh Mickey You're So Fine." We watched from our very crowded perch in the standing room only of the bleachers. Every time a club would finish dancing the section that represented them in the bleachers would shout out their class saying or motto. It was intense. Another surprise came when I realized that one of my friends, the boy named Elvis was one of the ones on the floor dancing for the Chem club. I recognized him by his pants (he wears unique pants let's just say). He was the only one I knew on that floor and it was awesome to watch one of my friends dance. As we all know I have a love for boys who dance and here is no exception. We cheered for everyone though, screaming words we didn't understand and all the while it took me back to high school and pep ralleys and school assemblies. I was glad I could be there to experience it.

Fall Flirtations

Some fantastic quotes of late (either heard or read):

"Feichang Good" and "Very Hao"

"What's wrong, what happened?"

"You see this knife? I'm going to teach you English with this fucking knife!"

"Art thou calling my mother a pox ridden wench?"

"Parallel World = Gingerbread House"

This weekend was a trip, definately a trip and a half. Friday, after class I headed off to the wonder that is Futian and spent the evening hanging around with that crowd, lovely people - much less drama, little bit of weirdness, all around good. We drank and danced and KTV'ed it up with some good lookin' Chinese boys (pictured above) (p.s. OMG a photo worked I'm having a little party in my head right now, must attempt more at later date). We botched some Chinese songs and made them attempt some English ones (Britney spears was the funniest by far). Around 2 we all decided to grab a bite to eat at the local "dog-serving facility". We didn't try the local fair but stuck to seafood and vegetables. I ended up getting driven home by two of them (the two wearing grey in the photo) after a long night, they took me all the way home to Bao'an. What sweethearts! My favorite part was the next day I had to wake up at 7 in the morning to teach at the training center and the younger one (named Veyans, great name) texted me at 7:30 in the morning to make sure that I was awake. Let me share this with you cuz it's cute:

Veyans: "Shauna, goodmorning, I'm veyans, are you ok? (What's wrong) (side note: he kept saying "what's wrong?" whenever we did anything all night, it was cute and we all kept laughing about it so he'd keep saying it. He put it in the text so I would know who he was)

Shauna : "Good morning! How are you, you must be very tired, why are you awake?"

Veyans: "I'm sleeping now, I worry about you can not wake up, so send message to you."

Shauna: "So kind, thank you so much, have a good sleep."

Veyans: "Thank you! Nice to meet u! I holp that I have a change to see you again."

(cute as a button)

Moving on.

Apart from spending an obscene amount of kuai at the new local H&M store with Caroline and fighting the mob scene at Shi Jie Ji Chuang attempting to get a bus home Saturday was pretty quiet.

Sunday we took the hilariously crowded 395 bus into town to celebrate Thanksgiving with the rest of the troop. I seriously don't know how we crammed on this bus. The bus probably fit 70 people safely and we were trying to cram 200 on it was beyond ridiculous. I was laughing for the better part of the ride while constantly being slammed between other riders. I have to say that my claustrophobia is definitely fading in this country. Have to love that. After about an hour of that we made it back to Futian. We walked for about a half a mile and found ourselves at Lauren's school to help celebrate. I was proud, people really came together especially when it came to bringing food. There were all sorts of goodies, not to mention five turkeys. Among them were cranberries, mashed potatoes, bread, cookies, stuffing, and salad among other treats of a different nature - peanut butter sandwiches, chips and salsa, oranges and sangria. It was great seeing people that I hadn't seen since Zhuhai because they had either stopped coming to Chinese class or disappeared into China altogether. We ate and drank and watched the boys get sweaty and play football.

Late in the evening I took the bus by myself to Shenzhen university, I figured I owed it to them considering I didn't go on Wednesday. Sure enough I got mobbed again, this time having the pleasure of meeting an Elvis and a Michael (named for Michael Jackson and proud to show off his dance work.) I saw the regulars too, Ian, Emma, Jimbo and David. We continued to pick on Jimbo because "she" couldn't get pronouns right all night. Elvis said that he was a freshman (he was only 18!) and was thinking about trying to get into Michigan university sometime next year. He was super quiet and his aunt who came with him seemed to take over most of the conversation. At some point someone brought up the topic of S&M and transsexuals and I felt like I should cover his ears because he just seemed like the same age as one of my kids. By the way, explaining those things to Chinese people, not only requires a lot of rapid fire dictionary look up but a lot of laughter and blushing on my part as well. I did get the chance to use Eli as a reference for the first time over here and they loved it. Thought it was great, especially when I told them that Matt and Eli get along better as best friends than they ever did as boyfriend and girlfriend. Go figure.

All day yesterday I received text messages from the "quiet" freshman named Elvis. Not so quiet anymore! I have plans to "practice English" with him in the near future. I just hope that's what it is and not a cover for something else. Ah well! Maybe I'll get abducted next weekend. Who knows! Have a good one people.

When I come around..

is one of the corniest titles ever stolen from a cheesy song...

I have this little black notebook which I tend to carry with me on travels to school or to places that don't have the word "school" in them. It's starting to accumulate random notes and drawings and starting to look like any one of the several drawing notebooks that I left in America.

Here are some notes from the past few weeks (drawings not included)

- Ian is totally my George from Grey's Anatomy, if this turns out to be true than who is my McDreamy?

- I was thinking about Denny from work today, that's sort of random, probably have been watching too much of Grey's season two...

- Benny texted me out of the blue to see if I was feeling better, with the way things have been sort of awkward between he and I, it was a nice gesture.

- To dance you need either rhythm or confidence, if you lack both please stay off the dance floor!

- This tea was most definitely made from dandelions...

- (because I was sick) I have a new Chinese haircut and a boy's voice....great, even more reason for them to call me "he."

- (still sick) For this cold I've had my fingers pricked, have been given strange flower tea, weird Chinese medicine and candy. I just want my voice back.

- I miss my voice in the worst way. A voice is one of those things that you don't miss until it's gone. I miss mine. It's useful. I can speak foreign languages with it. I can sing with it. I can mimic. Now it's missing and it blows.

- Why did Gavin bail on me and this driver again? So stupid. What if I had wanted to go somewhere too? Then I would have felt so bad for this guy because it's his job to wait for us for 2-3 hours until we get out of class. He could be doing other things. Not thoughtful.

- Kate Grundman can draw and there is an art store in Yantian. I want to do something this weekend. Fuck it, I want to do something tomorrow!

- Gavin's driver's driving is ridiculous.

- There are different classes and levels of friends amidst the foreign teachers. It's a bit strange sometimes but it will make sense to us. It's become a little cliquey but that's fine with me, it's like high school. I butterfly around now, like I did then. I can talk to anyone. Most of them know who I am and if they don't know my name they've at least talked to me. It's like my profile on here says "I'm impossible to forget but I'm hard to remember."

- One should never ever refer to me as "princess beauty" ever. Even if you're trying to impress me. Don't. Just. No.

- I got an arm workout on a 45 minute bus ride home the other evening. No literally, it was a workout that was ridiculous.

- Unnecessary rascism and the people that point it out

- Why is it that people are always hatin on the people that I like, what's up with that?

- Liz asked the question "why are we not friends?" .....we're not friends?

- I took a two hour nap after Chinese class yesterday. It was DIVINE.

- I'm currently reading the book "Stuff White People Like" and it makes me both frustrated, sad and laugh all at the same time. I'm also starting to realize how different I am from everyone else here. Well, maybe not everyone, but most.

This morning I walked by the boy track team as they were lined up on the field. As I passed right in front of the whole group I turn right at them and cocked my head. They laughed and greeted me with "Hellos" and "Good Mornings" and more laughter. I love making them laugh, if I can do that, my work is complete. These kids don't laugh enough, everyone at this school is strict with them, so if I can make a few jokes or get a few to crack up, I think that's half of my job right there.

Having Adverse Effects

To quickly apologize for my post script in the last blog let me say that it is a rather new feeling for me to have people reading my blog, much less commenting on it. It also means that I have to censor myself a little, which if you know me, you know that that's not something I do very well. I really don't censor too much, just enough so that I don't get people yelling at me and what not. I absolutely adore the flood of watchers and comments and people taking time out of their lives to listen to me bitch. But (as those who try to sound smart say way too often) I digress.

Also to clarify; generally the titles of my blogs, while they usually have to do with the blogs the meanings may or may not be clear to anyone except myself. The last title read "Losing my religion." The meaning can be understood by a piece of the blog itself, where I was "losing faith" in my ability to teach classes at the time due to that one problem class. I am no longer in that frame of mine however. I'm a big fan of titles, whether they make sense or not. You will learn this. lol

I'm also going to take a minute (what? a lot of stuff happened this week) to welcome Evangeline Marie Jarvi into the world. I like the name, although I can hear "EVA MARIE" being shouted across a playground a lot clearer than I can "EVANGELINE MARIE" possibly due to how close the former is to my own two first names, and how frequently I've heard the two used in unison. There is no doubt that this new little addition to the ever growing Jarvi household will be loved and cherished by every and anyone who knows her. And may she grow into a world better than it is now and may she see brighter days because of it. Welcome dear one, I send you kisses from the far east.

Let's recap the week shall we.

Aside from the shake up of schedules the week went rather smoothly right up to the weekend. I didn't really get robbed, enjoyed a nice shopping trip in Dongmen on Thursday with Brendon and reveled in the cool weather we've been having. I had no classes Thursday and Friday due to exams so it was sleep in city for me and I was more than pleased.

Friday we (and when I say "we" I mean Gavin) invited a good number of other foreign teachers to ride back with our troop to the wonder that is Bao'an. Many of them had never been and so they were a little apprehensive, but the promise of drinking and roller skating antics pushed them into over crowed vans and one VERY crowded car and we all made the trek home to our part of town. There were a lot of comments ranging from "wow, there's no tall buildings" to "we're going to get robbed" to "why is that guy staring at me?" They were not aware that in Bao'an we are celebrities. When the hoard of us marched off to the roller skating rink, those not familiar to the city found out exactly how true this statement seemed to be as we were gawked at in the streets and horded around at the park. While I braved my second attempt at roller skating with some other fellows, several members of our part stayed outside to play pool. Losers! Nah. But while they stayed they were literally surrounded by Chinese people. There are photos on facebook to prove this. It was sort of ridonkulous but in a way, fun! It was like playing on one of those professional shows.

I played a few games but unfortunately the drunker I became the worse I got (generally it's the reverse, I blame Chinese beer and also being on the opposite side of the world, it throws mah game!) I also found out that alcohol + roller skates = bad idea! and the second time I ventured out on the rink, newly toasted, I quickly regretted it. There is a phenomenon that occurs on a Chinese roller rink. When you skate by yourself, and especially if you're foreign, and even more especially if you're a girl, Chinese people will come along and take you by the hand and skate with you. This happened to me about 5 minutes after I started skating. A young Chinese guy took me by the hand and started leading me around the floor. A few minutes later two others grabbed my other hand and he told me in Chinese that they were his friends. In about two minutes I looked over my shoulder and noticed that we were leading a train of about 15 other Chinese people around the rink. My guy was pumped, he kept trying to skate faster and faster and get us to make a complete circle where everyone was holding hands. After about 10 minutes of this my legs were starting to give out so I retreated to the out doors and to the games of pool. On my second attempt at skating this same thing would happen again and again, although it wouldn't end in the same way. Generally when we would make that turn (that got sharper with each go) I would fall on my knees or on my ass or even on my face. Seriously people, where in the world I got the idea into my head that it was a good idea to put skates on after a few beers, I'll never know. I have bruises on my bruises....

Saturday I had training center. As much as I bitch about this training center every week, every week it continues to make up for it because I am in love with those kids. I couldn't do it last week because I had a cold. When I walked into one of the classes all of the kids said in Chinese "WE MISSED YOU" and after class they were asking when I would teach them again and were disappointed to hear that it would be in about three weeks (I have each class once ever three weeks) I'm in love with those kids just as much as I love my own kids.

After a much needed nap (I went to bed around 1am and had to wake up at 6:30) I was invited to spend the day with my new friend Ian whom I've recently met at the Chinese/English corner BA and I attend on Wednesdays and Sundays at Shenzhen University. We played pool for about an hour (he won all three games, even though he was hustling me, it's China I tell you!) and then took the bus to a park called Yuan Bo Yuan Park. The English name is long and hilarious but I forgot it at the moment. This park was awesome! Trees and flowers everywhere. It was a festival of greenery. Even the area surrounding the park was full of trees. Made me miss home, and autumn and fall. It's still nice to see so much green in November. There were also stairs. Stairs everywhere. Chinese people have a hard on for stairs I dunno what it is. You climb them all the time. My calves are going to be the size of Schwarzenegger's if I keep this up. We wandered around exploring here and there, eating oranges and bananas that he brought along, me drawing here and there. At one point we stopped at the "Happiness Pagoda" and this little girl had grabbed her mom's camera and was taking photos of us. Some of them were pretty decent so I asked for the mom's email so that she could send them to me. Granted the little girl was about 4.

After coming back home on an exhausting bus ride where I got the workout of my life, Ian said that he wanted to stop off at the bakery first before he took me home. When we got there he told me that it was his birthday! I actually almost hit him. The whole day and he didn't tell me! Brat. I told him if my voice was better I'd sing for him, so I owe him a song. He told me that spending the day with me was present enough. Too sweet! He'd ordered a cake earlier in the day so we sat and ate nearly the whole thing in the bakery. We spent a good two hours in the back of the bakery talking and eating way too much and listening to music. It was good times. He's very sweet but I worry sometimes about his intentions and whether I can live up to the expectations that I'm believing he has for this relationship. I know he likes me, it's sort of obvious，but I'm not so sure I know how to handle that. I tried to explain to him in one of our conversations that I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now. I'm not sure if it translated or not.

On the way home he said that he knew a medicine that would help my cuts from the skating incident the previous night and so we swung by the drug store on the way home. Yeah. It was iodine. And yeah, it hurt like a bitch. The thought was nice though, and it has been helping. But really, fuck the person who discovered iodine.


Well folks, Monday is coming to a close. Classes today were MUCH better than they were last week. The class that I thought hated me actually did rather well and paid attention. I think the key there is that we played games all hour, and I gave candy to the winning teams. P.S. mom, the smartees are a huge hit and they're perfect because I can just give out the pieces not the entire thing and I can use it in a lot of classes. Good job! Thank you! Thank you again everyone for the kind thoughts and reminders that no, they are not going to behave all the time, or like me. But generally they do. When I think that everything is out to get me, China generally surprises the hell out of me and turns it all around. I'm quickly realizing why people fall in love with this country.

Losing My Religion

Today I moved through my own share of emotions. My classes were shook up like a boggle ball because of the mid terms this week. My four classes today were not the four classes I normally have on Mondays and it was definitely a change. I had things all prepared but I realized that it may have been better to attack this as sort of a free week because I only teach three days this week. Unfortunately I was told this about 10 minutes before class started. I came prepared to do a little book work, look at photos and then play a game of some kind. Only two classes made it to the game. It doesn't help that I've recently lost my voice due to the cold that I acquired over the weekend. I sound like a 12 year old boy, albeit a "sexy" 12 year old boy as I've been told by students of both this school and shenzhen university. Fantastic. So I squeaked my way through my first class, who were mostly well behaved and then moved on to my second.

Something was just wrong in that class and I could tell from the get go. I don't know what happened. I get weird vibes in that class. Like they're plotting against me. This was the class that I punished with book work three weeks ago because they just wouldn't shut up. Also we never did get to game because I didn't have the tools I needed for it. Maybe we'll try it next week. I felt bad and I have a feeling they could feel my fear. It weirds me out when they're super quiet, which they were. I just hope I didn't make them think they were being punished. I don't need that. I left the class feeling dejected and as a failure at teaching. I don't need my kids, any of my kids not liking me.

Luckily, I gave myself a pep talk. The right side of my brain told the left side to shut the fuck up. I do this sometimes, it sounds a little crazy but it helps to give me perspective on a lot of things. I came to the conclusion that yes some of my kids aren't going to like me. I'm a teacher. Even I didn't like my best teachers sometimes. I had my fights and disagreements with them. It's a little bit of karma kicking me in the shins. It's just going to have to push me to work hards. NO I shouldn't have to entertain these kids all the time, there are days when we are going to do bookwork and they should just understand that. Two weeks ago we did Halloween, last week they had military training. This week is exams. So sometimes it's work and sometimes it's play. When they work, they work very hard, but when they play they play just as hard. If they hate me, so what. I have 1,200 other kids who make the whole thing worthwhile. I'm allowed to have one class who makes life difficult for me, especially when I hear some of the other experiences from other teachers (I have angels compared to some). So I told myself to shut up and stop looking for acceptance from 14 year olds, it aint gonna happen sometimes. Just gerron wif it. (Monty Python Reference)

Thankfully (at least for my more sensitive side that always needs validation) the last two classes of the day went really well. Class 8 (always a pleasure to have cuz they're my smart babies) did very well and played the prepped game and Class 1 who were noisy for the most part, when we got to the game did beautifully (even though they got a little crazy with the ball throwing).
I walked out of the last class breathing better and feeling for recharged and more positive.

Notes from this past weekend and today:

- Watched Caroline get her hair cut Saturday and then went with BA yestreday to get my hair cut. It seems that because we get bored over here and there's not parents to tell us how to cut our hair or men to judge us we're more prone to messing with our looks. We seem to be using this as an outlet to some of our frustrations with this country. "I can't change what I hate about some things here, but I can fuck with my looks." My hair is a little....shorter than normal and the guy thinned it the heck out. It's never been this thin, it blows in the tiniest amount of wind. I call it the "Chinese look" because they're hair always looks so thin. I'll put pictures up somewhere....eventually. The nice part about getting our hair cut here is it'll grow back by the time we go home.

- Yesterday at SZ University I watched Ian and Brendon "pop and lock" dance and it was one of the best things I've witnessed all week. I'm also going to start referring to them as Luke and Han, cuz our little trio reminds me of that when we travel together

-That SAME kid tried to steal from me again yesterday. I turned around as he was about to reach for the same pocket. Luckily my ipod was tucked into my jeans. I shouted at him and he booked. I saw him again as I was crossing the same bridge and grabbed his shirt, he dashed off. I'm wondering whether this is going to become a problem or some sort of strange game.

- Last night at the university we discussed the friends episode where Pheobe has the cold and the "sexy voice" and I about died laughing. Brendon got an Ocharina from a guy named Jimbo and I found that I cannot speak Chinese with the voice problem I have now. We also discussed "black humor" and porn. Win.

- Got a package from mom it was fantastic. Cookies got destroyed and I missed having more than one pair of jeans. Got bunches of photos and magazine wif Keira Knightly on the cover and lots of other goodies. Yay thanks mum :)

- The boy that sits with me and Katherine at lunch was cute and told us he has a crush on a girl in his class today but it's a secret. It made me realize two things. I forgot I was teaching teenagers and Valentine's Day is gonna be hella fun to teach.

- Brendon (after drinking on Friday): "Hey Shauna, what's the measure word for cleavage?"
Me : "Oodles. Oodles of cleavage."

- Gavin's birthday Friday, accompanied by Jack's toast, his dancing (which I hate that I missed) yummy Japanese fried food, creepy guys with long hair, Gavin molesting Caroline with pics to prove it. D club and retrieving that hat, which...actually never left I guess. Sunglasses at night are douchbaggy. Weird cab rides home.

I'm going to add a quick end note because I'm tired of writing (which is obvious because there are SO many details left out of this) Fall has finally shown up in Shenzhen. It's not that pissy cool weather that only comes on the tail end of a thunderstorm, it was cold this morning. After taking my not-warm-enough-shower I hopped back into my covers to try to warm myself back up because I greeted the day. Because it has gotten so cold, my kids have switched uniforms (at least their fancy ones) to resemble what I wore for Halloween. My girls look how I looked but my boys where long sleeve white collar shirts and navy jackets. These little men are possibly the cutest thing I have seen since coming here. They're adorable because often the jackets come over-sized so tiny hands stick out of ridiculously long sleeves. I can't teach them like this because I just sit there and "squee" for about 10 minutes every class. Really thank God for school uniforms and cute kids.

That's all folks.

oh p.s. mom stop harassing Joel about comments. I feel weird if I knew people were checking my blog on near obsessive levels. I have no problem with the lack of comments. Plus, it's like a watched pot situation, and it reminds me of too many other things that I'm dealing with right now that sort of depress me. So as I say nicely but firmly to my kids who talk too much. "Shh."

And then there were seven.

Let me start off first by a open congratulations to all who voted, to all who stressed over every little tidbit of this election, and to those (like Meghan :-) who attacked the New York Times website a hundred times an hour yesterday. I commend you. I personally cannot bear to stress like that. Yes, I know that this is a huge decision that will affect our country for years to come. Yes, I am aware that this is the first black president, and for that I am infinitely proud of my country. Yes, I will continue to worry about the president until it has been at least a year and there hasn't been an attack on his life. I worry for him. These are dangerous times. We shall see. That is sort of my motto living in China as of late. We shall see. This happened exactly the way it was supposed to happen. So everyone who is pissing and moaning in the south can understand what those of us who have been pissing and moaning for the past 8 years have had to deal with. You had your turn, you fucked things up with the choice you made. Let us have a try with the choice we've made. I'm ready for change and it looks like the man is going to bring it, whether the rest of the country is ready for it or not.

Second thought. This is not meant to sound racist in the slightest. But black people (normally ya know, the bad ones, ya know my boys in Detroit) are always going on and on about The Man. Well.....The Man is black now too. Wonder how that'll affect thinking as well as that phrase.

Last night we were introduced, via James Jones, to the new teacher who will be taking over Randy's school. This is no offense to Randy but it seems that we've lost one southern gentlemen for another. This one's name is Ryan and he comes from Kentucky. Seems nice, good teeth (although apparently they're fake O.o) He's a returner so it's nice to have someone in the group who's done this whole bit before. His Chinese is also about....ohhhh my level, which weirds me out. At least he likes sports. Gavin will be ecstatic. He's got a good, quick sense of humor. I like that, he'll at least keep me entertained in the dregs.

Tuesday I went out with Ian for supper and then we went to Xin'an park for some roller skating. I feel like Xin'an park is sort of like "Central Park" here, at least for me. It's where I went with Benny on our first "date", it's where I ended up with Katherine and we danced away our troubles about her friend in the hospital, and it's where I re-learned how to roller skate in the little rink in the middle of the park on Tuesday.

I started off shakily, holding his hand nearly the whole time, afraid of falling on my face. I really was like Bambi for the first half hour, and I'm sure I was entertaining to watch. Although as much as I skidded this way and that I did not fall, and even better, I did not take him down with me. We zipped around for a while and had snippets of conversation, most of which I couldn't follow either because I couldn't hear (they were blaring techno music the whole time) or because I was concentrating on not wiping out.

At one point we made it to the balance bar on one side of the rink to rest and have a drink and attempt to learn how to skate backwards from this guy who was really good. I don't know how it happened but I know somehow my feet went forward and my skates went out from under me and I fell right on my ass. Not only that but one of my skates came down hard on my left leg. Now I have a limp on my left side and a few bruises all over. I showed Ian on Wednesday and he fretted all over them, saying that it was his fault. Unless he somehow pushed me, which he did not, it was in no way his fault - but he continues to worry.

Finally let me tell you about the time I nearly got robbed......by a nine-year old.

They tell you to watch out for your stuff because there are people looking to rob you from every angle. They even tell you to look out for the kids because sometimes they'll form gangs and attack you. But see I've been walking over the same damn bridge for nearly two months now and I don't know if it's because I'm foreign, or because I'm scary or because I'm generally double-timing it because I'm late I've normally been left alone by whatever thieves hunt on that bridge.

Yesterday I guess something seemed different about me. I had my school books and was listening to my ipod and just casually walking along the bridge to head back home before we were supposed to have dinner with J.J. and Ryan. Now when I listen to my ipod I keep the "pod" part in a pocket my purse, zipped up, and the headphones strung up to my ears. I had a skirt on, otherwise it would have been in my pockets.

So I'm walking along and I pass these two kids. I notice them off the bat because they have really interesting faces, like grown-up faces. Not the fresh-faced looks of the kids that go to my school. I notice them for another reason, they're not wearing uniforms. Now, in America this might not seem strange, but in China these kids live in their uniforms. They wear them every day all day, even on weekends. Very rarely do I see them in regular clothes and when I do I can hardly recognize them. So already these two kids intrigue me but at the time I think nothing of it, pass them and continue walking. After a few moments I notice that the bridge has become crowded and so things are slowing down. Frustrated I turn my head and notice that the boys are walking somewhat behind me now. My first reaction is to put my hand on the strap of my purse, which is what I do when I'm nervous anywhere in China. Protect your stuff, that's the key. They told us that generally Chinese people are out to steal from you, not harm you. But then I feel guilty about not trusting these kids. So in thought of good faith I let my purse go and just hike up my pace along the bridge, dodging and weaving through the crowd. I check behind me and the little one is still right behind me, I walk faster.

It all happened in a matter of moments. I feel a sensation and turn around. This boy has my ipod in. his. hands. And now it's unplugged from my headphones. The music stopped. I stare at him and say in plain English "Give it to me!" and not waiting for a response, snatch it out of his shaking hands. His face gave me the impression that he was about to piss himself. I watched him for a moment, shoved it back in my purse, turned and made my way down the steps.
Shaking a little myself due to the miniature adrenaline rush of realizing that I just prevented myself from being mugged, albeit from someone who came up to my waist. The most unnerving part was that in the pocket where my ipod was also lay, my phone, my keys, and two 100kuai dollar bills - all of which could have been snatched but he stupidly went for the thing that was attached to me at the time. As soon as he unplugged that thing whether I had felt it or not I would have noticed the lack of music and turned around. Of course he obviously wasn't that bright.

The whole situation, although not threatening still rattles me a little. And yesss I am going to be paying more attention when I walk - which I usually do but for someone reason yesterday I wasn't in the "safety" frame of mine (I blame the sickness). I will move things to another pocket deeper in my purse and keep it in front of me.

Everyone keeps saying I should have beat him upside the head, but I don't think so. Although when I think back it makes me angry enough to want to strike something or someone, at the time I realize that there are people here that are poor enough to attempt to do things like that. So I pity them. If he hadn't been an idiot and tried to steal from me, maybe I would have given the little brats some money to go get something to eat. We'll never know. But if I do see him again I'm gonna box him on the ears, you bet your ass.

Alright that's enough from me. I'm off to blow my nose all over China.

It's November....where is my God damned cold weather?

Seriously.

I'm currently in a little internet cafe surfing the interwebs because I have no life. NO this is not true, I have reasons for being on here. Blog is one of them....I think.

This past week I feel like I've done everything and anything there is to do in China. Between teaching Halloween in classes this week (which by the way went hilariously) and making new friends at Shenzhen university to getting asked to pose as "fake italians" for some chinese company (which I declined). Thursday we went to Happy Valley with some girls from the university and enjoyed the rollar coasters and Halloween festivities (it wasn't Cedar Point but it was no less awesome) Friday of course was Halloween and we celebrated it the only way we knew how...by wearing awesome costumes and getting drunk. There was also karaoke earlier in the afternoon with our Chinese classes, which we rocked.

I've been checking out the photos from Halloween...ho boy. We were classic that night. Some highlights of the night for those of you who missed it (and by that I mean everyone in America)

• All you can eat Pizza and Beer for 100 kuai (about $15) at NYPD pizza, complete with entertainment - that we didn't pay for
• Fred Brewer showing up in that little purple number. Man did he make a fine lookin' woman!
• James Jones coming as himself
• Andy Quitmeyer's rendition of MMMmmbop during karaoke
• Daniel Higgs and his full out werewolf costume - and how the chinese kids were basically unfazed by it
• All the kids dressed as.....chinese kids (self included)
• The frightening overgrown babies....Evan close your legs please!
• BAI HUA XIAO XUE
• Rachel and her zombie costume and her attacking everyone with fake blood
• The Foreigner "Zoo"
• John McCain and Sarah Palin showed up at one point...
• The tooth and the door (compliments of Caroline and Amy)
• Brendon Albertson's beat boxing and Danny Stokely's freestyle rapping made the night!
• Gavica!!!!

Most of these are unfortunately inside jokes of the group. If you want me to explain any of them I'll be happy to. Otherwise try to check out what photos there are on facebook, I'll be getting mine up on myspace soon enough. Til then...

WAN SHENG JIE KUAI LE. (Happy Halloween in chinese)

It really is for our benefit...

Quote of yesterday via my good friend Brendon explaining the idea of gays in America to a rather homophobic woman in China.

"In America gay people have clubs and bars that they go to, to meet other gay people, so that they don't rape the non-gay people."

Candy Theives and Mickey D's

Seriously my kids are candy whores. Not that it bothers me, I'm glad because I bought waaaay too much candy. Of course it's only day two in this holiday fiasco and it seems that I will have to buy some more before the week is over.

First of all.....let me know if this is a better template to read these blogs. I've been getting.....complaints.....about the last one hahaha. I didn't mind changing it, I needed something orange.

Saturday we made the excursion out to Dongmen..or should I say I made the excursion out to Dongmen by myself to meet the rest of my shameless crew who couldn't wait a bloody hour for me to finish my training center classes. Failures. I have no patience with these people. I am uber polite, both me and matt are really two of a kind I think and I see it now. Very rarely are these kids considerate or thoughtful, only once in a blue moon. I understand that they had to come back around 5 but it's the principal of the thing. Plus if they had waited for me I would have shown them a faster way. It took them nearly 2 hours to get there while it takes me just under an hour. Oh well, serves them right for not waiting. I got there by myself and everything. I'm sort of glad that I am learning to travel by myself instead of sticking to the group like they tend to do, makes me feel more grown up, more on my own.
All in all, shopping in Dongmen went rather well. We found some cute clothes and I learned that even in China I still tend to have a monochromatic wardrobe of blacks, whites, and greys....must fix that. I also bought some Miyazaki DVDs because no matter how low I am, Miyazaki makes it all better.

Sunday was quiet. I spent the better part of the day cleaning and organizing lesson plans, getting ready for the week. It's rough being a teacher, not to mention a teacher who doesn't have their schedule for the year mapped out for them as a lot of my teachers growing up had. I have to make up things as I go along - which sort of blows. I did have two China encounters Sunday that made up for the quiet however.

Around 2:30pm I decided to leave my cave and head out to wal-mart, find some food and then internet cafe. I stop in front of a bulletin board near my school and start to stare blankly at the Chinese characters trying to recognize any of them. All of a sudden one of the male teachers walks up to me and beckons me to come into the room where they've been having that giant teachers' test all weekend. "Weishenme?" I keep asking him in Chinese which means "why?" I can't understand what he wants me for, because they're obviously busy and I'm just the wandering foreign teacher. I enter the classroom which resembles many of the auditorium classes from college days and notice that most of the teachers have finished for the day, the only few that remain are some of the ones that I know and a few from different schools. Also the headmaster and the vice principal. None of whom speak English. I explain to them a little that I intend to go shopping and eating. One of the men (who this weird little obsession with me) says that he wants to go shopping with me sometime. I say sure, knowing what an awkward situation that would be. Suddenly help arrives in the form of my contact teacher. I tell her that they attacked me and I'm not sure why. We all chat for a while - her acting as translator - me picking up on more and more Chinese than they realize. I can't wait until the day when I can yell at them for talking about me in front of me in Chinese. Can't. Wait.

Eventually I bid them adieu because they need to get back to work and I make my way off for food. I cop out and decide that I'll be having McDonald's...1. because it's edible and 2. because I'm not too nervous about eating there by myself, and 3. because I know what the food will taste like. I sit down with my food and my book and enjoy myself. About 10 minutes later I'm passed by a small group of kids in party hats heading for the counter for ice cream. I get the obligatory double take from them as they pass. I keep reading. When they come back my way to return to their seats I get a couple "hellos!" to which I give the natural response and continue on reading.

About 5 minutes later I am distracted from my story by the same "hello." When I look up it is the same gaggle of kids. The oldest one is holding one of the party hats out to me and says shyly, "this is for you." Wide eyed and smiling I thank her and then they all giggle and rush back to their area of the MacDonald's. I stare at the hat, it's green with a hippo on the front of it. Too cute. What to do? Well, I had to go find these little buttons before I left. So I abandoned my empty tray (which by the way is what you do here, you don't bus your own table and believe me, it's really weird) and headed in the direction they went. I come upon their party in the back corner of the restaurant, all full of giggling and happiness. It must be someone's birthday (I;m kicking myself because I forgot to ask at the time) so I ask if I can take a picture with them. I manage to get the three older girls in the photo and we all put on our awesome hats. They tell me their English names and that they attend Anle primary school (which is actually right next the MacDonald's). I tell them who I am and where I teach. It's about this time that the teeniest one looks at me and says "my name is sissy and I am FOUR!" You haven't seen cute until you've had this done to you by a four year old Chinese little girl. Oh my God. Precious. I thank them for the hat a tell them goodbye and skip all the way to the bus stop.

I'm going to interject here. Mom tipped me on to something that I realize I may or may not have covered and that is the atmosphere of my teaching experience. Every class I walk into is packed with between 50-60 students. It is me against them, there is no translator, there is no helper teacher - just me and them. We get along relatively well, as long as I keep them fairly entertained. If they act up I usually have to quiet them down with a smart and loud "ANJING" which means BE QUIET. Usually when I say it one or two other kids in the class will scream it until they shut up. If a specific kid is acting up I'll sit him in front of the class until he can prove that he can behave. If the whole class won't settle down I explain that we can either do the fun thing that we're doing or we can do book work (which I don't like and they don't like). I've only had to resort to canceling a fun activity in one class so far. I have my good kids and I have my bad kids and I have favorites in both of these groups. I also have my smart mouths who are generally really bright but like to mouth off. In my opinion if they're mouthing off in English okay, Chinese not okay. My younger kids I tend to have more fun with because they are more easy-going and enjoy almost anything. However they are more often the ones that I have trouble keeping quiet most of the time. They do tend to be the cutest little things though. Their ages range from 10-14. The older kids tend to be anywhere from 13-16 and tend to be a little rougher around the edges. Sometimes they don't want to do things, or they find it boring. It really depends on the class with these guys. I'm going to have to do more topic lessons with them and more things to get them engaged in conversation. Some of my older kids are really bright though I have to hand it to them which makes it fun to teach them as well.
So far in my classes we haven't done too much but we've covered introductions, greetings, describing, some brief American culture and now Halloween. Next week they go off to military training for a week so I get a bit of a break. The week after is mid-terms I've been told. There's no rest for these kids!!

And then there was that time where my knowledge of hospitals came in handy

Seriously youku.com! Wtf. I was able to watch Doctor Who the other day, why won't you let it work nooooooooooow? >:-( I wasn't even finished with the episode....that's just cruel.

So yesterday this little girl comes into my office and starts to ask me in English if I will teach her class tomorrow. I look at her and ask if she's from class one, because, why yes I do teach class one tomorrow. Then she says, no, she's from junior three. Aha. She's from class one. The ominous class that I haven't met yet because of events on Fridays that just happened to coincide with my meeting them (such as police station and sports day) I got attacked by said class on sports day with a lot of "why have you not come to our class teacher?" "We really want to meet you!" Man, if this doesn't make me feel loved, I don't know what does. I have them third period and I'm actually a little bit nervous. These kids have the best grasp of English in the school. I feel like I should prepare something special for them. However not having enough time, after last night's adventures, I will have to do introductions and questions for the teacher again. (Intros they love because we get to throw that ball around) I just don't want to let them down. I feel that my classes as of late have not exactly been up to their allotted potential and I know that they are expecting greatness. Living up to the expectations of children is one of the tallest orders anyone can ask for - I think.

So Wednesday I walked out to the gate to wait for my ride to Chinese class (i.e. the bus that will be the death of me someday) and I come onto a scene involving police officers, parked cars, and what used to be a perfectly decent bicycle. It seemed that one of the students had been hit by a taxi crossing the street on their bike. Granted I had just left a small group of students when I left the cafeteria only about 10 minutes before. I found the nearest english speaking teacher and drilled her as to what happened, what grade level, was it a boy or girl. It was a boy - luckily that ruled out my stalker girl - from grade two. Now grade two is not my grade, but I still love all these kids so my heart was pulling. I also didn't see the kid. He was taken to the hospital before I had come on the scene and no one seemed to be able to explain it correctly. Here was was opinion I got.......omg chinese people..... "He is feeling a bit dizzy, I hope he will live." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?? Gosh Tina! The kids really didn't know how he was, or if it was serious, I kept getting different answers from people. So me and stalker friend decided to go and visit him yesterday after school because he is a classmate of hers. We brought him some candy.

When we got to the hospital, she found that it was much bigger and more confusing than she remembered. Luckily...there was English and chinese. And not only english.....hospital english. "Radiology area, Out Patient Ward, Internal Medicine, Radiation Oncology ward (def not there) Surgery" I was back home. You would have thought I had worked there, I walked with purpose to the area that I figured he would be (Internal Patients) up to the 5th floor (peds). She asked me why we were going to the baby area and I told her it was because pedeatrics was for any kid under 18 - which she refused to believe me. When we got to peds we found that, no in fact he was in the out patient are, in the other building. So back down the stairs we went. When we came to the elevator there were more signs in English. She said that she was adamant that he was on the fifth floor. Fifth floor said "Surgery ward/Orthopedics" I asked "Are you sure?" The students really had no idea what kind of shape this kid was in.

We took the lift up to the fifth floor and asked the reception nurse where the boy was and we took a left down a hallway filled with people in casts and have ligaments set back in place. The room he was supposed to be in was filled with men all sitting around eating boxed lunches. We went in and she asked them if the boy was there and they pointed to the adjoining room. The mother and father came out and said that he was sleeping, but we could go inside. This poor thing had deep cuts on his shoulder, his side, near his lungs, his knee and his hip. Apparently he had had surgery on his hip and collar bone and on his foot that was in traction (I can relate to that) My heart broke, this was alot worse than they made it out to be, and I think that Katherine was shocked as well. Her face dropped, she was expecting him sitting in bed, eating soup and to be back in a week's time, but here was her friend, laying in pain and seriously wounded. We were going to let him sleep and just leave the candy, but when we were turning to go the father came and told us that he had woken. When he saw Katherine he smiled a little, weakly though, but when he saw me his eyes went a little wide and he tried to cover his naked chest - to which his mother yelled at him for touching the cloth to his injuries. I knew he was embaressed so I asked him if he felt any pain and he said no (he was more than likely on Chinese morphine) and I told him he was very strong and that we were very worried. I told him that we would look forward to his coming back and then I told Katherine that maybe we should go and let him sleep.

His mother walked us to the elevator. I could tell that the poor woman was holding herself together for her son but she was shaky. I put my hand on her arm and had Katherine translate a little for me. I told her that her son was very strong and it was a very good sign that he was up and awake. I told her that he would be fine. She nodded a little and I think even if she didn't understand that us being kind and paying her son a visit was enough. Me and a very dejected Katherine got into the elevator and headed back downstairs. The poor girl was shocked. She said that she didn't expect him to look like that, like he was in so much pain. She felt like crying, she didn't understand why these things happen to good boys and girls and not to bad people. She didn't want to go home feeling upset. I wasn't sure what to do. So we walked in the nearby park. It was none other than the first park in Xin An that Benny took me to back in September. It was pretty and clean and we wandered around talking for a while. She told me about the boy in the hospital and how he sat near her in class and how they would make jokes and help each other with homework. Then I realized he was her version of my Curt -san when we were in Japanese class. I explained to her about me and my friend who was like that. (The subject of "romantic love" as she calls it always seems to brighten her up a little)

As we were walking and talking we came upon an area in the park where people were learning to dance. We decided that this would be the perfect thing to take our minds off of her friend being in the hospital. We decided that we would learn the dance moves. The funny thing about Chinese music is that it each has it's own complicated dance moves (sort of like line dancing or THE HUSTLE) each one is slightly different and I've decided impossible for a foreigner to figure out (especially one with two left feet) but we tried anyways - and we made fools of ourselves. But we had fun. We did this for about an hour, and after sweating our butts off and learning some sweet dance moves (that I will never remember) we headed back to the bus to go home. I treated her to an ice cream at McDonalds and I think she was a lot better by the time she left to go home.

I'm glad I saw the boy. If I hadn't I would have been worrying nonstop, but now I know that he will be okay. Waking up and talking is always a good sign. I do think that it will be more than a month before he is back, but I can't wait to welcome him back with the rest of the staff and the kids. Until then I will continue to pray for him as I ask you guys to do please.

Side Note: I just finished teaching my Junior Three (one) class and it went awesomely. They were attentive and they did what I asked of them. We did the introductions and English name thing and then I had them ask me questions. One sneaky little one named Sara asked me a question and then right after asked if I knew any songs. Haha. I've been teaching "Take Me Home Country Roads" to a few of my Junior one classes so it's been stuck in my head all week. So I cleared my throat and sang a shaky if not decent version of the chorus - to which I was met with a round of applause. Now these adorable kids applauded me when I walked in and when I left too. They're really good students, I just hope that I can live up to their expectations of an English teacher. P.s. This is for mom - They knew NBA and they were the first class to know our basketball team PISTONS. One had a newspaper and pointed out Chancey Billups and Sheed Wallace. Lol. Awesome. I was psyched. I think I'm going to go curl into a ball and study chinese and cry because I feel so loved today :-D.

Maybe it's because the English have invaded...

or maybe it's because I'm not in the right climate, but something doesn't feel right. It could also be the fact that I'm not getting enough sleep lately. I keep having to stay up late to rewrite my lesson plans. The ones as of late are not going the best way I'd want them to. Some classes excel and other classes flop. It's a little frustrating. I've also encountered some more of the dreaded writer's block because of this and that is why there have been a lack of posts. This is not to say that there has been a lack of interesting things that have happened, I just haven't been in the mood to share. And of course I feel bad about this, but at the same time can't even remember half of the stuff that's happened in the past few days. I think I'm going to have a nap before supposed J.J. dinner tonight.

My kids are darlings as usual, sometimes obnoxious but most of the time I could pinch them. The singing lesson that I've planned for this week is a bit trying, I have to say. They just get it in some classes and in other classes they just don't want to. Maybe tomorrow we'll cut the song out in favor of something else. Or they can just listen to the music. I have been giving mini performances of "Country Roads" in classes lately and almost every time I get an applause. Haha I guess my fear of singing in public is getting cured FAST.

Any thoughts on what to teach kids about Halloween (or how). I'm a little slow to jump to this topic even though it's my favorite. We can't have a party because that night I can't stay at the school cuz I have class and then Halloween party at night. I still want them to have fun. I am going to paint my face a little bit each day (I bought goache paints hopefully those will work just as well as acrylics and hopefully the Chinese won't mind) and going to look for a costume this weekend in Dongmen.

Funny thing - the other day I was shopping in Wal-mart (which I can happily say that I can make my way to and from now without getting lost) with my little stalker friend. We were perusing the bread section and then out of nowhere this guy says "Hello how are you?" Since English is always refreshing to hear here in Bao'an where not alot of people speak decent English, I happily returned the greeting. Then he gives me this sly knowing look and says "I am from Japan." "Honto ni?" I say which in Japanese means "really."

He starts to give me the common phrases "konnichiwa." "konbanwa" "arigato gozaimasu." However I'm not convinced so I ask him "anata ga nihongo wo hanshimasuka?" He gives me a blank look. I smile.

Meanwhile my little chinese stalker friend is eyeing him quizzically. She starts talking at him in spit fire Chinese., asking him questions, yelling at him and then she turns to me.

"I don't think that he is Japanese," she says in English. He turns to me and says "No I am Japanese, I am." - In English of course.
After about 10 more minutes of her giving him the third degree she has discovered that he is in fact Chinese. I look from her to him and I smile at her. I tell her, "Of course he's not Japanese! I asked him in Japanese 'do you speak Japanese' and he obviously didn't understand me! I knew he was not Japanese 10 minutes ago! She laughed at this.

He wasn't a mean man he was just trying to make a joke. He explained that before he had met a Russian girl and the same trick had worked on her. I proceeded to tell him that it's because Russians aren't that bright ( I kid, I kid) He told us his name was Diego. Ok. Really? A Chinese man who pretends to be Japanese, speaks a little English, and has a Spanish name. That's a little bit too many cultures, even for me. Stalker friend said it was time to go so we peaced out but not before I gave him my name. Not my phone number, I'll wait until I see him stalking around Wal-mart again - pretending to be African or something.

Things are pretty quiet as of right now. Probably because all the teachers are busy studying for their "to become a permanent teacher" exam. It's so weird to realize that it's Halloween and yet it's not celebrated here. It's a little bit of a downer, have to tell you. But that's okay. I'm going to teach them about Halloween anyways. I'm determined to spread the love. I just hope I can buy enough candy :-/

Side note: I have my address almost translated from the super bad handwriting of my contact teacher. When I get it fully translated (via J.J. hopefully tonight) I will send it in an email to mom and some others. Both the Chinese and the English. My advice as has been told to me buy others who have mailed things - print it out and use the Chinese and English. It'll work faster and better and they won't have to fumble with things they can't understand. No you won't have to write it, I'm almost positive. Thank you for being so patient with me. I'm off to finish watching 'The Nightmare Before Christmas" online and then I'm going to take a nap. China beat me up this week.

See you guys later!

Bao'an boondocks

So yesterday after a rousing "game" of ping pong where I'm learning how to play the Chinese way yet again (and progressing, apparently) I decided that last night would be a good night to attempt to learn the buses and find wal-mart. I could see that there was a wal-mart plain as day on the map that the last foreign teacher had left, I just hadn't been able to find it yet.

So, armed with said map, my book, my ipod blaring Steven Lynch into my ears and about 300 kuai - I marched off to the bus station near my dorms. Remembering what James had said, I hopped onto the 632 and prayed that it would eventually make it's way down the giant blue that all foreigners cling to upon arriving in China. Wal-mart is useful because not only is it cheap but you can often find American products and (even more precious) American sizes.

The bus zipped around going straight and then veering left off into God knows where. I clung to my purse and tried the avoid the stares from the people on the bus, or at least the double-takes, which I actually find funny. Then, only about 10 minutes later - success! I saw that big familiar blue sign looming out in the distance. I smiled and only had to wait until the driver passed it about a quarter of a mile down the road so that I could get off and walk. I was proud. I had found what I was looking for. Something that can be very difficult for me at times......I'm very Ryouga when it comes to stuff like this.

While walking I noticed a common phenomenon in China, a group of about 30 Chinese gathered outside of a shop because a large TV is playing a movie. It's like a small, white-trash, out-door movie theater. The wide screen TV was promoting the movie Hulk with Edward Norton, whom I love, so I had no choice but to stop and watch with the rest of them. There was a grandma sitting with a teeny baby and bouncing him as she made exploding noises while his face was glued to the screen. As was everyone else's. Every once in a while a car would want to get through (on the sidewalk mind you) and would honk for us to move. People would shift positions until the car had passed and then move back to get a better view. I had an advantage due to the fact that I was taller than about half of them.

I watched about the last 20 minutes until the end of the movie and when the credits started rolling I moved on away from the rest of the group and headed for wal-mart. Inside it was clean and big and welcoming. I meandered through the aisles and up onto the different floors picking up the essentials and some things I didn't expect to find (such as a set of gouache paints and paint brushes and a double copy of Pride and Prejudice and Atonement). After paying I headed over to the star bucks for some much needed sit down time and a drink. I was greeted by the kid over the counter in English, which was a pleasant surprise. Although maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised - it was starbucks after all. I ordered a mango smoothie (I don't drink coffee) and after picking it up sat down in one of the comfy chairs. I pulled out my book and read for awhile, every now and again sipping on the fruity drink.

Around 9 I decided it was time to head home. I've been staying up too late for my own good lately (nothing to do with drinking, just doing things are the house) and I needed to sleep tonight. I wasn't exactly sure where the bus stop to get back on the 632 was so I wandered around. Using my sense of direction I know that I only needed to go East since the Wal-mart was West so I headed in the appropriate direction. Unfortunately while looking at the all signs saying which buses are available I couldn't find the 632. Even after crossing the giant foot bridge and wandering over to the correct side of the street.

I decided that no harm could come from riding the same bus that had brought me to wal-mart. Maybe they go in a circle, I thought and hopped back on the 632 which had taken me to wal-mart in the first place. I even met the girl who is an English assistant at the training center where I teach on Saturdays. As I watch the scenery pass by I realize that I am more than likely not going the correct direction, but I sit and wait patiently as more and more people get off the bus. My friend leaves and then it is just me and another Chinese dude. Finally at the last stop that he gets off, the driver turns to me and points to the door and says some random Chinese that I figure means "last stop." So I hop off the bus, a bit dejected, but no worse for the ware.

Ya'll I was in Bao'an Boondocks. I don't even know where I was. It was China ghetto with crazy shops and little mom and pop restaurants everywhere and dark alley streets. I'm going to be honest. I don't have that fear of China that they try to put into your head so that you'll be safe against muggers. This place feels cozy compared to Pontiac. So I start walking. I see a busy road ahead and make my way for it. No bus stops though, so as before I make my way in the opposite direction from which I came. I walk and walk, when I pass bus stops I check for the bus I need but with no result. I forever had hope on my side, and if all else failed I could always hail a taxi home. Those things never stop running.

I started walking towards the non-ghetto-looking side of the city, all the while passing staring faces and motor bikes that kept honking trying to get me to get on. These weren't sleazy men, they are sort of like a taxi service. You hop on the back of a bike and they'll take you where you want to go. Too bad I neither knew where I was, nor which way I wanted to go. And I wasn't about to go trusting a guy who drove along the highway on a moped with no helmet.

I walked for about an hour. Always checking the signs on the bus stops. At last I found on that had the characters for my school on it. When I checked the time I found out that it stopped running at 9:20. It was nearly 10:00. Feeling dejected I turned down the final street and hailed a cab, there was no bus, I was lost, tired and frustrated and I just longed to go home and sleep. The heavy bag holding my purchases was getting heavier by the moment and I could feel the weight of my dejection along with it.

The cab pulled over and I asked him if he knew 海滨中学。He gave me that look, like he had no idea what I'd just said. They told us in the program that if the cab driver looks like he has no clue don't get in the cab. I asked again, telling him it was a school. Then he nodded his head. I said in English "you sure?" and looked at him quizzically. He nodded again and I got in. I didn't care at the moment. He had a better idea of where I was at the moment than I did. Pride hurt and foot sore I slumped into the front seat and huddled my purse to me, my shopping bag at my feet. The cab driver got on the radio and I heard him ask about where exactly my school was. He seemed to get a confirmation and sped in the complete opposite direction of the way that I was walking. Great. Fail. Feeling even more dejected I cupped my head in my hands and watched the passing lights as we sped off into the night, maybe towards my school, maybe to the nearest brothel - who knew.

About 15 minutes later we made a turn and things were familiar. I could cry. Where had I gone. I had no idea. I was in the sticks too far from home. I felt like crying, but I held together. I guided him with points and grunting noises until we turned onto the correct street and pulled up in front of my gate. I could have kissed him. If I'd had more money I would have tipped him a whole bunch. I thank thank thanked him over and over and again and then said good bye. I think at the moment he knew my desperation and my gratefulness because he smiled. I grabbed my things and made for my room, glad to be rid of the confusing streets of China for yet another day. I collapsed in bed and thanked my lucky stars for cab drivers, for English speaking barristas, and for the small amount of Chinese that I know.

I'm sorry but "T-Bag" is not an appropriate English Name...

Really....it's not. But I think I'm going to let him keep it.

Classes are going....meh okay. I think I need to start cracking on some serious lesson plans though. I understand that they are learning a little, but I want them to get engaged. Next week we're going to work on English songs and they'll find out exactly how much I abhor singing in front of people and then the week after is Halloween - so that ought to be fun. :-) Should get a clip from a movie and some fun vocab for the bitty kiddies and something a little heavier for the older ones.

Interesting Things of Note in the Past Few Days:

• mom asked if I was dating James Jones - a fact that would have made milk come out of my nose...if I'd been drinking milk at the time
• I met a non-asian! They do exist! He's an Indian man who has lived in Bao'an for the past four years. He's a little over friendly but means well. Although I may have him show me where the nearest pool and gym are and skip out on going over to his place for dinner. Gettin' a little bit of that creeper vibe there.....
• Got drunk with a bunch of Asians over the weekend. Man do they love their baijiu....me....not so much. But really!? They brought a liter of home grown baijiu. That's fuckin' moonshine baby that's what that is! I taught Benny a new phrase that night: "What have you gotten me into?" Comes in handy from time to time.
• The worst thing about not speaking enough Chinese is when the Chinese men start talking about you and your country and how poor it's doing at the moment (I know you're talking about me you little drunken crazy Chinese man BECAUSE YOU'RE GESTURING AT ME! Leave my country alone!)
  
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being is all about sex. It should be titled "The Unbearable Lightness of Not Wearing Pants."
• We watched the Grey's Anatomy episode of the one with Meredith's hand is on the bomb. That one sort of chilled me. I always get thrills and chills because of Beamont but there was something unnerving in the way they directed that episode. From the very beginning with her crying to McDreamy, to the woman coming full out screaming out of the ambulance to panic attack of Christina Ricci, to Miranda's breakdown, to the acting from all the main characters. Of course the ending tore me up and the final shower scene was a great tie in to the beginning of the episode. The only exchange that was a bit of was of course from McDreamy and Mer at the end. That was weird, weird and pointless. Normal people just don't talk like that, and if they do, they shouldn't.
  Gave me sleeping problems that night I guess you could say.
• "That is not potato that you are eating - that is some kind of cat spit up..."
• There is a class (2 classes actually) whom I have not yet me due to having to go to police station very long ago and then National Week. I am supposed to teach these classes on Friday but we have Field Day on Friday which is going to be a free day for all the teachers and students. So I will not teach this class until two weeks from now. On Halloween. The other teachers cannot understand why I am laughing uncontrollably about this. Ahhh...me.
  

Random

Walking down the street and noticing that China will slowly destroy every pair of shoes that I own and there is nothing I can do to stop it, there are no repairs that will be permanent, it is something that is inevitable.

When there is nothing left to say to one of my students she absentmindedly will start to braid my hair - I let her and it reminds me of home and being 11 again.

Last night I had to pretend that the pillow beside me was a warm body, otherwise there would have been no sleeping. I blame Curt for getting me accustomed to this.

Listening to the Indian man go on and on, I now can only recall the briefest bits of the conversation. I remember him mentioning the colors of straps of watches and how some colors sell better than others. I remember him talking about Afghanistan and that he pronounced it a different way than we do. I remember that he can only speak Chinese, he can't read a word of it. That entire conversation seems like it was a dream.

I am beginning to have nothing but contempt for a person in our group. It's strange and hard to describe, but I get the sneaky feeling that the feeling is mutual. Give us some light sabers - we'll duke it out when the times comes.

Is it wrong that I like my boy students more than my girls sometimes? I don't think so. This is how I've felt all my life.

All week I had several questions. Riding home in a random car, drunk and sleepy, you took my hand and held it the whole ride. I can't remember those questions anymore.

I received the simplest of emails yesterday - but it made me want to cry. Idiot.

The people here will never understand the concept of very cold rain until they've lived in Michigan in the winter. This is not very cold rain guys.

A new good phrase - Es muss sein! - can wrap up the rest of my worries and frets.

-The ever pondering-
Xiao Na